top of page

Chapter 2: Get an Outside Perspective You Trust

 

“Find someone who knows you well and won’t just say ‘you’ll figure it out.’ Ask what they see in you. Push for specifics.”

​

You’ve spent time with yourself — mapping your feelings, values, energy, and vision (Chapter 1). Now comes the relational check: inviting someone else into your inner circle, not as a cheerleader, but as a mirror. Because however clear you try to be, your self-view is always partial. The perspectives of others help complete the picture.

 

​

Why This Matters

​

1. Self-perception is inherently biased

​

Humans are wired with blind spots. In behavioral science, we talk about self-serving bias (people attribute success to internal traits and failure to external factors) and fundamental attribution error (we see others’ actions as dispositions, but our own as situational). These biases protect ego but distort truth. A trusted outside perspective can help correct for those distortions.

​

Similarly, the illusion of asymmetric insight describes how we tend to believe we understand others more than they understand us — meaning we overestimate how well we see ourselves. 

​

In essence: your self-reflection is vital, but insufficient. You need someone who will reflect back to you what you can’t see.

​

2. Feedback sharpens direction and confidence

​

A survey of 12,000 managers found that “candid, insightful feedback” was considered critical to professional development.  Meanwhile, Harvard Business Review argues that feedback (especially when done with intention) makes work more meaningful by anchoring people in external reality and clarifying how they’re perceived. 

​

When feedback aligns (others echo patterns you sense internally), you gain conviction. When feedback surprises you, you gain new growth edges. In both cases, you deepen clarity.

 

 

How to Do It Well

​

Here’s a step-by-step playbook to invite outside perspective wisely and use what you hear.

​

A. Choose who to ask

​

Not all feedback is equally useful. The ideal person:

​

  • Knows you — has seen you in different settings (work, informal, stress).

  • Will tell you truth — not just encouragement or empty praise.

  • Can name specifics — not vague phrases like “you’re great.”

  • Has enough distance to be objective — someone outside your immediate bubble.

 

You might select 2–3 people: a peer, a mentor, a past manager, or a trusted friend with insight into your work style.

​

B. Frame the ask

​

Be intentional about how you ask. A template you could use:

 

“I’m working on Step 2 of my pivot: I want to understand how others see me. Could you tell me:

​

  1. When you’ve seen me at my best, what do I do or bring?

  2. What blind spots or limitations have you noticed?

  3. If you were giving me advice, what strength would you lean into more — and what would you caution me about?”

 

Encourage them to go beyond adjectives: ask for specific moments or behaviors.

 

C. Receive with curiosity

​

  • Listen first. Don’t defend.

  • Ask clarifying questions: “What makes you say that?” “Tell me a moment when you saw that.”

  • Reflect back what resonates and what confuses you.

  • Look for patterns across multiple voices — if two people independently surface the same trait, that’s signal.

 

D. Integrate and adjust

​

  • Compare what you heard to what you’ve written in Step 1. Where did it surprise you?

  • Update your reflection document with new language, nuance, or adjustments.

  • Use feedback as a filter for what roles, environments, and narratives you prioritize next.

 

 

Vignette:  Priya Asks

​

Priya felt stuck. After finishing her reflection (Chapter 1), she believed her next role needed to lean heavy into “strategy.” She asked two former teammates and her former manager:

​

  • Her teammate A said, “You don’t just design solutions — you calm tension. You’re the person people turn to when things go off-script.”

  • Her teammate B noted, “Sometimes you over-edit your ideas — you prune before you plant.”

  • Her manager recalled a moment: “In the project crisis, you stepped up, convened the team, and reframed the problem. That wasn’t strategy — that was leadership.”

 

Priya realized she’d misinterpreted her strength. Her energy didn’t come from grand plans — it came from navigating complexity and connecting people. Because she asked the right questions and listened hard, she shifted her target: not “senior strategy lead,” but “transformation leader in ambiguous spaces.”

​

Feedback didn’t contradict her vision — it sharpened it.

​

 

Best Practices

​

  • Ask before you need it — don’t wait until you feel lost. Use outside perspective early and often.

  • Limit the number of askers initially — 2–3 voices are enough to triangulate patterns.

  • Give them context — share your Step 1 reflection so they see where you’re coming from.

  • Record with permission — capture exact phrasing so you can revisit later.

  • Look for triangulation — when similar themes surface from multiple angles, treat them as clues.

 

 

Common Mistakes to Avoid

​

  • Asking for praise, not truth — “What do you think is great about me?” invites flattery, not insight.

  • Going too broad — asking “What do you think of me?” is vague. Narrow the focus.

  • Overloading the person — don’t ask 20 questions at once. Choose 2–3 core ones.

  • Ignoring disconfirming voices — if someone’s feedback doesn’t align, don’t dismiss it too quickly. It might be the signal you need most.

  • Reacting defensively — the impulse to justify or argue is natural. Hold off, let it land first.

 

 

Final Thought

​

Self-reflection gives you your voice. Outside perspective gives you your echo. Without that echo, you risk walking into your next chapter thinking you’re heading north — only to find out you’re drifting east.

​

This step isn’t about seeking validation — it’s about discovering resonance and refinement. When you combine what you believe with how others see you, your compass sharpens, your narrative deepens, and every next move carries more weight.

​

You’re not just building a career shift — you’re aligning your story with the truth others already see.

 

 

References

​

​

Original Post on LinkedIn.  October 4th, 2025

~ Nicholas Brandenburg (Founder, Higher Impact People)

"Seek Perspective" — Higher Impact People — Career Transition Guide

Chapter 2: Get an Outside Perspective You Trust

 

“Find someone who knows you well and won’t just say ‘you’ll figure it out.’ Ask what they see in you. Push for specifics.”

​

You’ve spent time with yourself — mapping your feelings, values, energy, and vision (Chapter 1). Now comes the relational check: inviting someone else into your inner circle, not as a cheerleader, but as a mirror. Because however clear you try to be, your self-view is always partial. The perspectives of others help complete the picture.

 

​

Why This Matters

​

1. Self-perception is inherently biased

​

Humans are wired with blind spots. In behavioral science, we talk about self-serving bias (people attribute success to internal traits and failure to external factors) and fundamental attribution error (we see others’ actions as dispositions, but our own as situational). These biases protect ego but distort truth. A trusted outside perspective can help correct for those distortions.

​

Similarly, the illusion of asymmetric insight describes how we tend to believe we understand others more than they understand us — meaning we overestimate how well we see ourselves. 

​

In essence: your self-reflection is vital, but insufficient. You need someone who will reflect back to you what you can’t see.

​

2. Feedback sharpens direction and confidence

​

A survey of 12,000 managers found that “candid, insightful feedback” was considered critical to professional development.  Meanwhile, Harvard Business Review argues that feedback (especially when done with intention) makes work more meaningful by anchoring people in external reality and clarifying how they’re perceived. 

​

When feedback aligns (others echo patterns you sense internally), you gain conviction. When feedback surprises you, you gain new growth edges. In both cases, you deepen clarity.

 

 

How to Do It Well

​

Here’s a step-by-step playbook to invite outside perspective wisely and use what you hear.

​

A. Choose who to ask

​

Not all feedback is equally useful. The ideal person:

​

  • Knows you — has seen you in different settings (work, informal, stress).

  • Will tell you truth — not just encouragement or empty praise.

  • Can name specifics — not vague phrases like “you’re great.”

  • Has enough distance to be objective — someone outside your immediate bubble.

 

You might select 2–3 people: a peer, a mentor, a past manager, or a trusted friend with insight into your work style.

​

B. Frame the ask

​

Be intentional about how you ask. A template you could use:

 

“I’m working on Step 2 of my pivot: I want to understand how others see me. Could you tell me:

​

  1. When you’ve seen me at my best, what do I do or bring?

  2. What blind spots or limitations have you noticed?

  3. If you were giving me advice, what strength would you lean into more — and what would you caution me about?”

 

Encourage them to go beyond adjectives: ask for specific moments or behaviors.

 

C. Receive with curiosity

​

  • Listen first. Don’t defend.

  • Ask clarifying questions: “What makes you say that?” “Tell me a moment when you saw that.”

  • Reflect back what resonates and what confuses you.

  • Look for patterns across multiple voices — if two people independently surface the same trait, that’s signal.

 

D. Integrate and adjust

​

  • Compare what you heard to what you’ve written in Step 1. Where did it surprise you?

  • Update your reflection document with new language, nuance, or adjustments.

  • Use feedback as a filter for what roles, environments, and narratives you prioritize next.

 

 

Vignette:  Priya Asks

​

Priya felt stuck. After finishing her reflection (Chapter 1), she believed her next role needed to lean heavy into “strategy.” She asked two former teammates and her former manager:

​

  • Her teammate A said, “You don’t just design solutions — you calm tension. You’re the person people turn to when things go off-script.”

  • Her teammate B noted, “Sometimes you over-edit your ideas — you prune before you plant.”

  • Her manager recalled a moment: “In the project crisis, you stepped up, convened the team, and reframed the problem. That wasn’t strategy — that was leadership.”

 

Priya realized she’d misinterpreted her strength. Her energy didn’t come from grand plans — it came from navigating complexity and connecting people. Because she asked the right questions and listened hard, she shifted her target: not “senior strategy lead,” but “transformation leader in ambiguous spaces.”

​

Feedback didn’t contradict her vision — it sharpened it.

​

 

Best Practices

​

  • Ask before you need it — don’t wait until you feel lost. Use outside perspective early and often.

  • Limit the number of askers initially — 2–3 voices are enough to triangulate patterns.

  • Give them context — share your Step 1 reflection so they see where you’re coming from.

  • Record with permission — capture exact phrasing so you can revisit later.

  • Look for triangulation — when similar themes surface from multiple angles, treat them as clues.

 

 

Common Mistakes to Avoid

​

  • Asking for praise, not truth — “What do you think is great about me?” invites flattery, not insight.

  • Going too broad — asking “What do you think of me?” is vague. Narrow the focus.

  • Overloading the person — don’t ask 20 questions at once. Choose 2–3 core ones.

  • Ignoring disconfirming voices — if someone’s feedback doesn’t align, don’t dismiss it too quickly. It might be the signal you need most.

  • Reacting defensively — the impulse to justify or argue is natural. Hold off, let it land first.

 

 

Final Thought

​

Self-reflection gives you your voice. Outside perspective gives you your echo. Without that echo, you risk walking into your next chapter thinking you’re heading north — only to find out you’re drifting east.

​

This step isn’t about seeking validation — it’s about discovering resonance and refinement. When you combine what you believe with how others see you, your compass sharpens, your narrative deepens, and every next move carries more weight.

​

You’re not just building a career shift — you’re aligning your story with the truth others already see.

 

 

References

​

​

Original Post on LinkedIn.  October 4th, 2025

~ Nicholas Brandenburg (Founder, Higher Impact People)

"Seek Perspective" — Higher Impact People — Career Transition Guide

Chapter 2: Get an Outside Perspective You Trust

 

“Find someone who knows you well and won’t just say ‘you’ll figure it out.’ Ask what they see in you. Push for specifics.”

​

You’ve spent time with yourself — mapping your feelings, values, energy, and vision (Chapter 1). Now comes the relational check: inviting someone else into your inner circle, not as a cheerleader, but as a mirror. Because however clear you try to be, your self-view is always partial. The perspectives of others help complete the picture.

 

​

Why This Matters

​

1. Self-perception is inherently biased

​

Humans are wired with blind spots. In behavioral science, we talk about self-serving bias (people attribute success to internal traits and failure to external factors) and fundamental attribution error (we see others’ actions as dispositions, but our own as situational). These biases protect ego but distort truth. A trusted outside perspective can help correct for those distortions.

​

Similarly, the illusion of asymmetric insight describes how we tend to believe we understand others more than they understand us — meaning we overestimate how well we see ourselves. 

​

In essence: your self-reflection is vital, but insufficient. You need someone who will reflect back to you what you can’t see.

​

2. Feedback sharpens direction and confidence

​

A survey of 12,000 managers found that “candid, insightful feedback” was considered critical to professional development.  Meanwhile, Harvard Business Review argues that feedback (especially when done with intention) makes work more meaningful by anchoring people in external reality and clarifying how they’re perceived. 

​

When feedback aligns (others echo patterns you sense internally), you gain conviction. When feedback surprises you, you gain new growth edges. In both cases, you deepen clarity.

 

 

How to Do It Well

​

Here’s a step-by-step playbook to invite outside perspective wisely and use what you hear.

​

A. Choose who to ask

​

Not all feedback is equally useful. The ideal person:

​

  • Knows you — has seen you in different settings (work, informal, stress).

  • Will tell you truth — not just encouragement or empty praise.

  • Can name specifics — not vague phrases like “you’re great.”

  • Has enough distance to be objective — someone outside your immediate bubble.

 

You might select 2–3 people: a peer, a mentor, a past manager, or a trusted friend with insight into your work style.

​

B. Frame the ask

​

Be intentional about how you ask. A template you could use:

 

“I’m working on Step 2 of my pivot: I want to understand how others see me. Could you tell me:

​

  1. When you’ve seen me at my best, what do I do or bring?

  2. What blind spots or limitations have you noticed?

  3. If you were giving me advice, what strength would you lean into more — and what would you caution me about?”

 

Encourage them to go beyond adjectives: ask for specific moments or behaviors.

 

C. Receive with curiosity

​

  • Listen first. Don’t defend.

  • Ask clarifying questions: “What makes you say that?” “Tell me a moment when you saw that.”

  • Reflect back what resonates and what confuses you.

  • Look for patterns across multiple voices — if two people independently surface the same trait, that’s signal.

 

D. Integrate and adjust

​

  • Compare what you heard to what you’ve written in Step 1. Where did it surprise you?

  • Update your reflection document with new language, nuance, or adjustments.

  • Use feedback as a filter for what roles, environments, and narratives you prioritize next.

 

 

Vignette:  Priya Asks

​

Priya felt stuck. After finishing her reflection (Chapter 1), she believed her next role needed to lean heavy into “strategy.” She asked two former teammates and her former manager:

​

  • Her teammate A said, “You don’t just design solutions — you calm tension. You’re the person people turn to when things go off-script.”

  • Her teammate B noted, “Sometimes you over-edit your ideas — you prune before you plant.”

  • Her manager recalled a moment: “In the project crisis, you stepped up, convened the team, and reframed the problem. That wasn’t strategy — that was leadership.”

 

Priya realized she’d misinterpreted her strength. Her energy didn’t come from grand plans — it came from navigating complexity and connecting people. Because she asked the right questions and listened hard, she shifted her target: not “senior strategy lead,” but “transformation leader in ambiguous spaces.”

​

Feedback didn’t contradict her vision — it sharpened it.

​

 

Best Practices

​

  • Ask before you need it — don’t wait until you feel lost. Use outside perspective early and often.

  • Limit the number of askers initially — 2–3 voices are enough to triangulate patterns.

  • Give them context — share your Step 1 reflection so they see where you’re coming from.

  • Record with permission — capture exact phrasing so you can revisit later.

  • Look for triangulation — when similar themes surface from multiple angles, treat them as clues.

 

 

Common Mistakes to Avoid

​

  • Asking for praise, not truth — “What do you think is great about me?” invites flattery, not insight.

  • Going too broad — asking “What do you think of me?” is vague. Narrow the focus.

  • Overloading the person — don’t ask 20 questions at once. Choose 2–3 core ones.

  • Ignoring disconfirming voices — if someone’s feedback doesn’t align, don’t dismiss it too quickly. It might be the signal you need most.

  • Reacting defensively — the impulse to justify or argue is natural. Hold off, let it land first.

 

 

Final Thought

​

Self-reflection gives you your voice. Outside perspective gives you your echo. Without that echo, you risk walking into your next chapter thinking you’re heading north — only to find out you’re drifting east.

​

This step isn’t about seeking validation — it’s about discovering resonance and refinement. When you combine what you believe with how others see you, your compass sharpens, your narrative deepens, and every next move carries more weight.

​

You’re not just building a career shift — you’re aligning your story with the truth others already see.

 

 

References

​

​

Original Post on LinkedIn.  October 4th, 2025

~ Nicholas Brandenburg (Founder, Higher Impact People)

"Seek Perspective" — Higher Impact People — Career Transition Guide

bottom of page